This week has flown by at lightning speed. BoJo’s announcement last night was interesting to say the least, but failed to answer the only question I am actually interested in: when can I see my (twin) best friends who live down the road, who I haven’t seen in five months and who have just handed in their dissertations?
The original plan for my return to England was based on their graduation dates. I was prepared to move from Stuttgart to Bath and make it to Durham in under 24 hours to make it to Emily’s big day. It’s a bit ironic now that for the first time in three years we are living in the same town and we cannot even see each other.
Last night I danced in my bedroom for two hours. After several weeks feeling unenergized and demotivated it was nice to just move and feel good. I listened to the whole Beyonce Lion King album plus Odavi, a song which reminds me of being back in Brazil and Djadja, which reminds me of dancing in Germany.
If you’ve gone out with me, you’ll know that when I start dancing, my energy is limitless. Despite complaining about how long nights out in Germany were, I miss them now: pres starting at 8pm, going to the club at 2am and getting to bed after sunrise.
Dancing is one way in which I can get out of my head, forget about the world and just move. When I dance, I feel powerful and sexy and for a moment, nothing else matters. With my headphones turned up, I can shut my eyes and feel like I’m out on a dancefloor somewhere, having the best night of my life.
A few weeks ago, I felt pretty miserable, and sometimes now I still do, but if I close my eyes, I can still remember the buzzy feeling of waking up every day in Stuttgart, thinking ‘today is going to be a good day’. I miss having that optimism and it’s something I’m workingto bring back into my life while I’m stuck indoors.
Wherever you are, I hope that you are well, that you are staying safe and that tomorrow you have a good day.
Lots of love,