Today I went on a coastal walk with my parents. It was a beautiful bright day, we laughed a lot and got enough fresh air to last a quarantine. A couple of hours into our trek, my dad started to resent my use of the phrase ‘short walk’ and by hour 3 I was also regretting wearing a skirt on the windiest of days. Upon arriving home, I inhaled the fattest of sandwiches and retreated to bed for an afternoon siesta.
Good things about today:
- Going on a walk with my parents
- Seeing the sea
- Wearing a skirt
- Getting fresh air
- Seeing Rachel at Bounce (the local vintage store)
- Socialising from a distance
- Buying new film rolls
- Seeing my sister at work (apparently tech shops are a necessity)
- Buying Corona (beer)
- Introducing my mum to old memes
- Watching Next in Fashion on Netflix
There was more family time in the evening, during and after dinner, although this was short-lived. I am back living in a house of three Brazilian women who wear their hearts on their sleeves and speak as they think. We love hard and fight frequently, which is going to take some time to readjust to.
Today I had to take a minute to just acknowledge the coexistence of gratitude and uncertainly in my life right now. I have plenty that I am grateful for: my family, my health, the safety my house and job provide me. However, this does not negate the stress of not knowing what is going to happen next. It is hard to fathom the longevity of this situation- one which is more familiar in a film plot than in our real lives.
I’ve been trying all week to find the positive in everything and count my blessings and not be ungrateful, but I think it’s okay for a minute to say this is shit. Leaving my life in Germany, cancelling my travel plans, not being able to see my friends in England- it is all very shit. It is not ‘this is rubbish, but I have all of this good stuff’, it’s more like, ‘this is rubbish and I have all this good stuff’. Coexisting, conflicting feelings, that’s just life.
So, get some sunshine, out on a hill or through your window, send a message to a loved one and keep washing those hands!
Lots of love,